i feel guilty for kissing another guy

If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. What did she say? Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like: To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. With or without the same seniority. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Its more like an excuse for cheating. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. Him coming to you within 2 days of his wayward deed , when he could have easily gotten away with it, this is something to consider. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. It didn't feel real. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. Evidently. If this is bothering you, then tell him. Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. It didn't feel real. (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. Lees theory has a big vulnerability. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. I know, I need to start a thread. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? After all, if you're still berating yourself for what you did, it won't matter whether or not your partner has totally forgiven you. As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. Are you sure all you did was kiss? Please help me. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. She said this is how it starts. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. A relationship with a man is supposed to be specifically platonic, says YouTuber David Godinez, while filmmaker James Rath says that men are told not to be physically intimate. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. Lol I love you already. You drank and you kissed. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. "what the hell where we at?" When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. I wouldn't want him around the person. reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. female If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. Should I ask him for gas money? I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. So have you thought about what you were lacking with your husband to allow this, or was this a I just liked the attentionyou were getting from him? I'm mortified. I just knew it. female I waited for the right time ?? You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. Yes it hurts.. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. Shes Colombian and very fiery. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. I was the driver so I did not drink at all just the wto girls. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. My husband wasnt home at the time. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". Period. If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. I told him straight away what had happened. Then (my name) I NEED SEX! you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. 2. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. :-*. Personally I don't believe in marriage. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. There is more going on. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. Sums it up nicely. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" (SK, that award doesn't exist. Except with other truth-seekers. It happens, in other words. But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. (works every time :-p) Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. I was correct, she struggles with trust. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! "and though he immediately pulled away". I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. But for me, it was. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. Don't feel guilty. You can't fake that . Lee.. you are too funny. Thank you. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. I could tell that he had a thing for you. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. Nooooo, surely not. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. I'd never be able to get over it. I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. That's a long time for kissing. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! Would they be as lenient? So as far I doing it wrong I wouldn't know. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. Does she feel guilty over leaving me for another guy? My SO and I had been dating two years. ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. LOL I feel horrible. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Don't have an account? Ugh, basically. Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. What should I do. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Again I could go on with this subject,and I undoubtedly will. PostedNovember 9, 2014 Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." I'll see you over there. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. The way it happened-not so good! Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. Houston? It was just a kiss. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. I am giving him space to think. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. Other way around. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. Sentiment accepted, though. I recall an incident years ago, we were very young, just teenagers, and a girl planted a big kiss on my hubby (then boyfriend) on a night out. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. I kissed another guy while drunk. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. Oh, I see. I took the ride. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. Translation: I believe I wish to say, what the hell, what were we doing only I have a competing urge to chose a phrase that could be taken two ways, to ask, where are we at aka what happens with we two now? Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?! .Houston, you and I have now strengthened our bond (whereby attention and affection follow) by together having conquered a potential crisis which can now longer be called a problem rather than a PAST godsend of a dual warning (not enough attention/affection worthy of marriage) merely in problematic clothing. I am sure this girl knows he is married. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. I felt disorientated. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. A I'm not condoning what I've done, and it's a totally different set of circumstances, but I remember wishing I had never known about the stupid kiss, as it tainted things for a while afterward. 4 days ago. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . I couldnt take it so I told him. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. You just never, ever know. I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. I was drunk but that is no excuse. (By the way, dwahling, am loving your tu-tu and Toys R Us tiara! He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. Be the adult here. (Ta-daaaa!) That left just me, the man and another woman. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. The moment feelings are involved then youve cheated. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. I wonder how that struggle with trust might affect bonding within a romantic relationship contex- oh, wait - could it, would it, on a train in the rain with a fox in a box, Sam-I-Am, possibly always communicate to your husband a sense that you don't fully enough trust *him*, in which case that must mean you're judging him by YOUR standards ergo he'd better hold back a bit just in case? You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" What does it mean for my marriage? reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. Kissing that that guy confirmed it. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. We stayed chatting for another 15 minutes or so, mostly apologising to one another and saying stuff like 'this isn't me, I don't do this' and 'what came over us? So what do you think? I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. What is he supposed to do with this information? - GET THE FUCK OUT. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! How is that beneficial to him? Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. His imagination could go haywire over that one. I dont know what else to do. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). Forget about it! (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) But the guilt is killing me. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. Anyway I'll get off this post now. And a stitch in time saves nine.

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